In this context, I learned a lot. I also learned that sometimes it is the continual distazione of us adults to children, day after day to create conditions that enhance their own ability to listen, reflect, be careful. The lives we lead, leads us in fact, to have always in a hurry, think of having to do everything at once, just like me, who sometimes believe they can tell my anguished life in an hour. Many of us parents, especially us mothers, we can be attacked and affected by performance anxiety, handed down from our mothers pass on to children, we would like to perfect, and instead are like this, as they are, with lora character, their history, their location, their impulsiveness . I realized that this was primarily a problem of mine, linked to my social "rudeness" as to when and to the needs of my child. Its activities were more divided than I really exposed him to the risk of becoming even more careless, but the concentration was good that was achieved. First, I had to make the little initiative and determination in his own business without too much interference. In this case, the specific drugs not served, served only to listen carefully re-education. Sometimes the drugs, especially those not suitable to the case, can cause irreparable damage, or states of agitation without precedent. And now I realized that this was part of what had happened to my Raffa. These were the years of my depth and careful study, my study "mad and desperate." I had, I wanted to learn, know how to really be his help. Only through knowledge, I would be able to trace, to break my chains and see the light. The light of wisdom and the right way to act. As a parent I try to create time and space on and dedicated to thoughts and emotions of my baby, trying to get in touch with his world, his feelings, his way of thinking and responding to certain situations, to try to guess how to defend it. Obvious that the family situation, articulate, filled with some ongoing conflicts, the changes in lifestyle, he had created in him a great suffering. Suffering that should not be underestimated. Raffa six years, had not found a way to get out of if, if not turning into anger, unrest and turmoil, all the confusion he felt. The inability to establish an ongoing relationship and satisfaction with a male figure, with his father, resulting in heavy air you breathe at home, the arguments for existence entirely fragmented and contradictory, had created in his torment, moral distress, killing of the already low self-esteem. He had an enormous thirst for be approved, welcome, reassured. So to "hear his voice, his cry of despair, refused to be a" good boy ". It was his challenge: the challenge to the school, family, society, to see if it was approved for what it was. Its primary need was not to identify with a child who had "something wrong", on the contrary had an extreme need to be guided when wrong, without being humiliated or subjected to comparisons or comparisons, so it disappeared from his thought the idea of \u200b\u200bworthlessness, of being bad, an impediment for adutlti. When a boy begins to outline the idea of \u200b\u200bbeing a mistake, an evil, a being uncomfortable, as it is captivating to him, unless we show them that it is not, will do everything to become real. That was my main task and specific: Raffaele help you to discover new solutions, to let him know that he was acting this way because it was harmful or not suitable, which was often emphasized and inculcated by their grandparents, but only because he suffered and was a bit 'angry. Only the medicine of confidence, consistency, restoration of communication, would allow Raffa to begin to understand and manage pious plan, their emotions, their movements of the soul. The journey was long, tortuous no doubt, but together we could make it. This puppy, who had already knocked on the doors of countless doctors and hospitals in Italy, was now known that at school, as well as at home, could there be a time and a place where he could be free to speak, outside himself and the evil within her, her frustrations. Free to learn to manage his moods and combat, as he said those were the "bad dragon" that made him so rude and unmanageable.
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