countless interrogations by psychiatrists and psychologists of the structure, which meticulously dug deep within us, to try to formulate a framework that was as clear as possible about the difficulties of Raffa. Even James provided input, compiled test and answered all the questions that were asked. Strangely, he put aside his superficiality and carelessness, and was proving very sorrowful, worried, anxious to give light to the facts. Do not ever contradict any of my statements, confirmed my version, even when this could backfire on him. Examinations, MRI, trial and to get to the point. So he knew of a bitter confirmation that my son was not a liar, a iperviziato, a child "ruined the family," but a being in need of help, support and understanding. The family, for those who may have deficits can not be the direct cause, the casus Bellis, of an illness such as bipolar disorder. Of course, consistency, non-contradiction, an iron fist and the velvet glove, they would certainly facilitated his search for models, but I, we did not have to feel guilty about it. For years I had lived, the terrible feeling that I was familiar with the situation and harm to Raphael, but the doctors ruled out. If anything, there was in him a strong frustration, a sense of inadequacy and self-collapse, which derived from the school failure, and its contrasted with others, that from us. There was advised not to divide the family, to try as far as we could be to try and find a meeting point. The separation according to the doctors did not represent the optimal solution. Raffa was in dire need of both parents, united and aware, ready to give support and comfort, ready to help him recover and to believe in himself. His fate, his future was now all in our hands, we were the ones that we could afford to fly, or lost, drifting wreck. We do not want this, no. I went to Genoa, and I knew that on my return there was the beginning of a path, a new path. First of all I had to throw it all away, uprooting, starting from my roots, what could be harmful to the fragile character of my son.
improperly person I helped, I knew I arrived with time, for autoconvincermi to be really unable to act in different situations. Aid would in fact always offered the problem of placing its usefulness. Here then check again the spectrum, the figure of my mother, the "savior" who had never posed the question of my actual needs, as worried and focused on herself, has always needed to "get credit" for I front of her, and in front of others. His offers of assistance in respect of my children had always been thus, the opportunity to enrich their personal, moral and social development, and the extent of his actions had always been referring to herself and not to others. To silence his feelings of guilt, to be loved and appreciated by putting in place his consciousness in the performance of good deeds to us, enabling it to be appropriate to its role as a grandmother-mother, or even find a reason to accept, I can not find convincing. But all at the expense of myself and especially Raffa. In fact, everything was hidden deceit deceitful, proceeding, however, carefully analyzing all the deception that had always brought to help itself emerged from the sudden change in their role. From "savior" to "persecutor." people first object of his care and attention silly and ineffective, suddenly became objects of accusations, humiliations heavy criticism angry .. The failure of "Good Samaritan" I became so our total ingratitude. A report neurotic, severely ill, insane, disturbed which I have made conscious. The only thing to do immediately in a case like this, in relation to the personality of a child already in itself suffers from a weakness of character, you become aware, after identifying the causes, reclaim their roles, and sneak away from This "triangular circle. This patient taught me a lot. confronted with as a team prepared to Calambrone, enriched me, giving me a greater awareness. I have a very clear picture now before me. I know have much to learn at first, many things to correct, to revise, reconstruct, in order to undertake an effective way "toward the sun." Set aside so the data without aids foundations, listen more to my, our common sense, without being influenced by the ever more commonplace, inconsistent and ambiguous eliminate the presence of those who had always given epithets unorthodox to me and my child, severely damaging. No, my family has in fact never realized that that attitude so oppositional and defiant, sometimes even violent Raffa, who almost made it increasingly difficult to manage, to lead to the parks, or just to the supermarket, it is not ever wanted, but something of which he himself As has become a slave to suffer terribly. Anyone who had not been able to focus all of this, he should at this point, unfortunately, be removed. Now I knew what to do: to allow my son to be thus free from the bondage from which it is oppressed for years, compromising his rehabilitation process and that offends her self esteem greatly.
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